my version of blogging

i don usually talk much about my feeling in this blogging stuff

i used to.. 

but that was bcoz of there's nothing major happening in my life

and i don usually update blog often nowadays

i notice that i only update when i have full cup of feeling/tension

but nowhere to release

somehow, this blogging stuff calms me

i blog about past events, then the crazy feeling of other matter goes away.

today, now, i'll talk about present.

will u ever feel being left out?

do u ever have to find your way into your own family's conversation?

will u ever feel they not looking at u when u speak?

do u ever feel like preparing to a fight, every time going to dinner?

do they ever make u feel so bad about yourself, that it feels like getting heart attack every single time?

do u had some really troublesome, unsolvable problem event happened in your life,

and hoping to tell someone in your family,

because they should be someone u can trust,

but u know u can't do it,

cause u know they will never think straight?

there are so many things can happen in your life

so its not wrong to, sometime have a emo reaction all around your face.

to make yourself feel better,

u might have to compromise something u used to do.

to not picking up a fight,

i rather talk less and have dinner with myself.

to reduce the stress time in your 'supposed sanctuary',

i rather spend more time away from it.

to cut out from the noise interference,

i locked myself in the room.

changing the people mind/viewpoint might not be the right way anymore,

because they spent too much time alive,

they thought what they think is always correct.

the simplest way is to modify yourself.

drinking, might not be the appropriate solution,

but it is the fastest, easiest way

and it could be the right way if it is the only way.

 ps: sorry about the emo blog and my weird sense.